I learned the German word for hospice a few years' back and it's 'Sterbehospiz'. This translates into English as: death hospice. There is no beating around the bush with this term. We all know what's to come.
I just had my last ever visit with L. as she is now in hospice care at home. No longer conscious, I spent time at her bedside with her two daughters. It was a bittersweet visit, but I'm very glad that they let me come over.
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As I was leaving work two days ago, I walked past the man who, this past February, had attempted to steal a large box of chocolates while I stood not five feet from him. I remember that I watched somewhat dumbstruck as he walked, truffle box tucked under his jacket-covered arm, swiftly away from the store. I thought to myself: Don't I know that guy?! Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to follow after him and retrieve the box; he gave it up without a fuss. This guy was someone who had visited the store on-and-off for the better part of a year. I can't now recall if he ever made a purchase when at the shop, but he'd come in for a chin-wag and we would give him the occasional gratis chocolate. So imagine my surprise as I see this sticky-fingered mofo making chit-chat with one of the craft vendors who sets up shop along the Embarcadero at the weekend. She, along with a handful of others, are typically selling handmade jewelry, pottery, art prints, etc. to passersby. I sit off to the side of the market and just observe. She's breaking down her stall as it's end-of-day and I'm kind of marveling at their chummy rapport. Is he casing her business? Is he her friend? What gives? After about ten minutes, she's mostly packed up her gear and he's bid her farewell. Once he has gone, I amble over to her and share what I know about him. I'm also aware that she has no reason to believe anything I say, so I add the few bits of information that he gave me about himself which were his age and where he's from. She nods in recognition and then says that he's a friend of a friend. I was sorry to have to tell her what I knew, but I'm glad I did. I also took a sneaky snap of him to give to the manager of the Ferry Building, so that she would have his image on file.
It's so much worse when they steal from a handcraft vendor.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's awful. She did insinuate that his stealing from us could be justified. I was like: we aren't See's or the Toys R Us of confections. The store in the ferry building is our only brick and mortar.
DeleteHugs about your friend L.
ReplyDeleteThanks. L. died on Friday morning. I'm sorry to not be able to spend anymore time with her.
DeleteI remember box of truffle guy. I bet he steals a lot, I'm glad you told her. It's so nice you visited L at home, that's tough.
ReplyDeleteI bet he does, too. And, yes, it did seem to right decision to tell her even though it was a somewhat awkward exchange. L. passed Friday morning. No more pain, so that's good.
DeleteThis is such a powerful and bittersweet post. I’m so glad you were able to have that final visit with L. and her daughters; there is something very special about that kind of quiet, shared time. I also love your takeaway on the word 'Sterbehospiz'—there really is no beating around the bush with that one. Sending you and L.’s family lots of love during this transition
ReplyDeleteThank you, Matt.
DeleteHospice is hard, but it's generally nice to have some closure and I'm glad you were able to do that. Be kind to yourself, these feelings don't just magically go away. Remember your friend in your heart. So glad you were able to talk to the vendor. I think I remember you blogging about that incident when it happened at the shop.
ReplyDeleteSandy's Space
Thank you, Sandy. I appreciate your kind words. x
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