Every now and then my mom will drop a nugget of her personal history on me and anyone else lucky enough to be in earshot.
Last night over dinner she did it again. This time it was: I didn't have a group of friends in high school. I ate lunch alone.
N., the friend with whom my mom is currently living, would maybe beg to differ as they met in school when they were both 14 years old. Or maybe N. sat with other friends while mom went off to buy ice-cream and be by herself.
The fact that my mom was both senior class president and voted 'most desirable' that same year seems not to square well with her high school recollections, but what do I know? (She was also on yearbook staff and a member of the drama club, even performing in a high school production of the Broadway hit 'Bye, Bye Birdie!')
I managed to score a seat on the yearbook staff during my high school years, but the other designations certainly alluded me.
Here's mom performing part of her duties as senior class president--
Mom crowning the prom queen, 1964
Mom was a foster kid, so she probably did have a hard time attaching emotionally to others given the revolving door of kids who came and went during her childhood over many, many years. However, I wonder how her classmates perceived her. Could they have seen a different person than she herself saw when she looked in the mirror, so to speak?
When I look back I can say that I categorically did not eat lunch alone. I ran around with a somewhat fixed group of girlfriends. What about you? Were you a lone wolf or one of the crowd?
I certainly wasn't part of the 'in' crowd but I had friends. Good friends.
ReplyDeleteThe tit bit your mother dropped certainly doesn't fit in with what you shared of her activities, but it sounds as if she felt she was alone. Which is more than sad.
Oh, yes. I hadn't thought about that. I she must have felt isolated. And that is really sad.
DeleteNot many friends in school. A few in junior...fewer in grammar school, getting less as I went through school.
ReplyDeleteNobody really close as mother vetted and disapproved.
Oh, that's a shame.
DeleteWhat a strange thing for her to say.
ReplyDeleteI had a few friends. In some ways wasted a lot of time with them.
I know I wasted loads of time with mine!
DeleteYes, I had a circle of friends throughout junior and senior high school. Even if your Mom didn't feel like she had friends, she certainly was active and busy in the life of her school.
ReplyDeleteThat's true, she was an active participant.
DeleteMaybe your mum was voted 'most desirable' because she was deemed the most unattainable? I was quite isolated when I was at school but when I went to college I was so silent that I was considered a bit of a mystery, and was mistaken for a bit of an enigma, which had its advantages.
ReplyDeleteYes, you may be onto something there. It does seem, too, that she saw herself differently than how her classmates may have seen her.
DeleteI was definitely on the outskirts. I had people I ate lunch with, but I didn't feel a part of their group.
ReplyDeleteI understand that feeling. I had a few lunch table mates that were really more friends with one another than they were with me.
DeleteWhen my high school class had its 50th reunion, one girl called me and urged me to come. "I used to eat at your lunch table!" I had no idea who she was.
ReplyDeleteOh, no! Tee-hee. I take it that you decided not to attend? My mom skipped hers as well.
DeleteThis is interesting she viewed herself as a loner and was actually very involved? I had a closer circle of friends in high school, and we're still friends. I'm very thankful for that!
ReplyDeleteIt's great to still have your crew with you, isn't it?
DeleteYes, it really is a bit of a head scratcher...
As E.C. mentioned above, it's such a shame she felt so alone.
Hopefully you can convince that she was a lot more popular than she remembers. I was pretty lucky to always have a good group of friends to hang out with during lunch or after school. I am just a cool dude. =)
ReplyDeleteAmen to being a cool dude. :)
DeleteI could tell her until I'm blue in the face...to no avail, sadly.
What an awesome photo, your Mom was quite the looker. I had a good number of friends and sorta straddled the in and not so popular crowds because of my activities and where I lived and taking the school bus...the in crowd didn't ride the school bus.
ReplyDeleteSandy's Space
A looker she was!
DeleteI guess the 'cool kids' drove themselves to school, eh?