Unhinged

I'm talking about me, unfortunately. Within a span of about a week, I've lost my rag on people. Were the outbursts justified? You be the judge. 

At a rather well-visited produce market on Friday, a man assumed I had cut in front of him in order to get to the til two minutes faster than him. There were three shoppers in front of me and he was sort of in the middle of the aisle shopping, but not at the end of the line, so I stood behind those few folks. At some point, I sort of heard a disembodied voice say something like, 'Excuse me, ma'am..?' and didn't think much about it as I did not think it was directed at me. Then I felt someone push a shopping cart/trolley into my hand cart/basket repeatedly. I realised then it was the man I'd noticed shopping. He had been speaking to me and now he was aggressively pushing his cart into my person. I felt panicked, didn't know how to respond, so, in the great tradition of supreme avoidance, kept facing front and silently waited those few minutes until a was at the til. The line I was standing in branched off; one had two checkstands to choose from. I chose the one on the left. The aggro dude followed behind me in order to give me shit for the perceived slight. 

You know you saw me. 

Dude, whatever. 

The world doesn't revolve around you. 

And it doesn't revolve around you shopping in an aisle. 

He would not drop it, so I invited him to meet me in the parking lot for a fist-fight after we finished paying for our groceries. Just before I left the store, I stuck my backside out and asked him if he wanted to ram me with his shopping cart a few more times for good measure before I left. Dude responded by calling me 'old' as in wasn't I too old to be behaving the way I was. Ah, the retort of the simple! Readers, it wasn't pretty. My 6'3" husband wondered if the man's response to feeling put out would have been the same if he had been with me, or, indeed, had been shopping in my stead that day. 

***

This morning, I watched as some clueless dog owner let her dog use our front garden as a toilet. I rapped on the front window and got her attention. She looked at me as I gestured to her to not let her dog do what it was doing. She ignored me, and when the dog was done, she walked on. I then went outside, saw the excrement and saw red. I yelled after her to, again, not allow her dog to defecate and urinate on the plants. She looked back at me, said nothing, and kept walking. I used a few choice words before going back inside, but not before picking up the 'doggie dropping' and disposing it in the bin. Had I known where she lived, I would have taken the poo to her porch and left it. Am I nuts? Maybe?