I have never been much interested in the ancestry craze that has taken hold these past few years. I know what I am: Whitey McWhiterson. I know from which part of the world my great-grandparents hailed & have always doubted that there would be some sort of genetic whammy in the mix. My hubby, on the other hand, was always keen to spit in a tube and send it off to some genetic testing company. He did it a few years ago and got me to do it as well. As I had predicted, there's no sort of 'big reveal' for either of us, genetics-wise. Although, I am, like, three percent Neanderthal and that was pretty trippy to find out. The hubs discovered some recent Eastern European ancestry that probably came about from someone having been unfaithful to someone else a couple of generations back. Still, it's not like he'd found out he was part Polynesian or African or something.
I posted on here some months ago about the discovery of who my mother's bio dad was and how thrilled my mother was to find out specific information about the man. I, on the other hand, felt angry when reading about his life. 'Isn't he handsome?' 'I think you have his nose.' All I could muster up in response was, 'I guess so.' He'd literally lived almost the whole of the 20th century and had not been in contact, although he knew perfectly well where my mother was. I read from his obit, found online, that he was 'survived by a step-grandson'. Whatever.
So, my mother's 3 bio-siblings were also raised in San Francisco. The two boys were kept by their mother and the two girls, my mother and her half-sister, were given up for adoption. My mother found out who her biological mother was when she was 16. She'd been a friend of the family who'd regularly come by for visits, ostensibly to get a gander at my mom while she was growing up. Finding out that the 'family friend' was actually the woman who gave my mom up didn't sit well. As a result, I never really had contact with my bio-grandma although she'd lived her whole life here in town. Some of my bio-cousins, interestingly, had even lived a few miles from my childhood home. My mother tells me that we all got together at least once way back when. I don't remember. One of those cousins now lives very near my mother out in the Central Valley. They have had the occasional lunch date and even chat on the phone. This cousin is very outgoing and very interested in her biological family. She and I email from time to time. She's very keen on finding out ancestry stuff & spends a lot of time on said sites. I received a mail from her this morning letting me know that she's found someone related to us, perhaps another half-cousin or second cousin, on the 23 & Me site. We three are all about the same percentage related to one another. As a user of the site, I am also able to see this mystery person. She and I are connected through the maternal line, sharing the same mitochondrial haplogroup. So, either my bio-grandma had given birth to a third girl and given her up for adoption or...I dunno, really. My sleuthing bio-cousin just sent this mystery relative a note. May she respond soon as my interest has been piqued!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Divided we stood.
At the weekend, a bunch of us Prop K volunteers along with the group behind getting the proposition up and running met up on The Great Highw...
Sort of like going to my brother's funeral and a young woman with a husband and baby steps up and says "Hi, I'm Walt's daughter. So you're my wonderful Aunt Joanne." Or learning my grandfather skipped town and changed his name to avoid supporting five children. He lived another twenty five years, and was not found out.
ReplyDeleteIt's been fun to learn I'm part Neanderthal and my dad really was one of those Black Irish, washed up with the Spanish Armada. Other than that, pax. I don't care to know.
Wow, Joanne. What a way to discover that your brother had had a daughter. And I love that your reputation had preceded you. I met a swarthy-looking woman once who was also Black Irish. What an interesting history.
DeleteGenealogy is interesting but often full of tough things to learn and deal with. Attitudes and responsibilities about offspring have varied widely over the years.
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely correct, Debra. My relationship to the family stories has changed over the years as well. I'm less excited at the prospect of finding 'new family'. My bio-cousin, by contrast, is, and her enthusiasm is a bit infectious. She told me once recently that my mother was the last bit of family she had from that generation as the other siblings are all dead. My mom has always been a tough nut to crack, so I'm happy to know that they have forged a relationship of sorts.
DeleteI have thought about doing one of those simple tests recently. I have a feeling I am a big part Norse and a big part Eastern European. The Neanderthals never died out, they just became assimilated. I know people who are about 90% Neanderthal.
ReplyDeleteThe test may unearth some long-buried secrets, Tom. What I didn't write was that this bio-cousin of mine found out via these ancestry sites that her brother is really a half-brother. Her mother slept with the neighbor in the 60s and he was the result of that union!
DeleteWe haven't considered the dna tests, but have been following paper trails..the more we do the more fascinating it gets. It's also interesting putting what was happening to our family into a wider historical context..or social...one of my dad's cousins married a Maori in the 1930s... something far more frowned on then than previously or now..but doing this has connected us to some interesting people and made new friends
ReplyDeleteYes, I would imagine a union like that in the 1930s would have been very frowned upon, indeed. How lovely that you've new connections and friends as a result of following the paper trails!
DeleteI was adopted at 2 weeks and know nothing about my birth mother, my brother is also adopted with a different mother. Neither of us wanted to find out anything about who they were/are. Both my daughters are adopted too. So I have no blood ties at all. Doesn't bother me. I am who I am. Ooh sounds like a song title. :D
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have wondered how my mother would have fared had there not been so many secrets kept regarding her origin story & had she been told from the outset that she'd been adopted. (And told that her cousin was actually her sister!) It was the 1940s and children, I think, were often kept in the dark about things.
DeleteIt sounds like you turned out very well, indeed. I would have adopted had I wanted children, but thought I'd better leave the parenting to folks more capable than myself!
My father and brother both did that genetic testing, and neither turned up anything unexpected. My mother learned of her surprise half sister in the '70s, so I rather doubt we have any of those interesting skeletons lurking in the family closet.
ReplyDeleteSurprise Aunt for you! Yeah, all that stuff isn't too exciting, if you already have a handle on where your people are from.
DeleteNot long before I met him my husband discovered that his father had a half brother. It turned out that I knew him (my first husband was in Lions International with him). I phoned him up and, coincidentally, he and his wife were coming to our town that weekend. They are almost the same age (80's) and neither knew about the other. I should write a blog post on it some day.
ReplyDeleteThat's wild that you knew him. -would make a good blog post subject!
DeleteHave extensive genealogy going back centuries on both parents a blogger buddy prepared in really nice book form. Am content with that info so haven’t pursued the genetic testing. Already knew some of the less than classic traditional family facts, so not likely there’s more to know, or it would be of any consequence.
ReplyDeleteHow nice that a blogger buddy compiled all the family info. for you.
DeleteShe does this research for a fee to earn extra income. Email me if you’re interested in contacting her.
DeleteDear Bea, I remain somewhat "ho-hum" about ancestry. I am the oldest generation now of both my mother's and my father's side of the family. I don't particularly want to know about the past unless I can actually talk with someone and hear his/her story of the ups and downs and the pain and sorrow and the happiness and delight. Since that's no longer possible--given my age--I simply trust that if I am to know more it will happen when I somehow meet--after my death--those who have gone before me. The fullness of personality for me is too much to discover win the name on an ancestry leaf. Maybe I'm just being stubborn! Peace.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the 'ho-hum' boat as well. Were it not for the sleuthing bio-cousin, I would neither care much nor know at all about new relative.
ReplyDeleteIf there's no one to confer notes with, then, yes, it's hard to muster up any enthusiasm for what simply is, family-wise.
I am still on the fence about doing one of those genetic tests. Hope everything works out well for you and you get all the answers that you desire.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I mean, I don't really get worked up about such stuff, but this bio-cousin's enthusiasm has sort of gotten under my skin.
DeleteI think if there had been the whole 'great-grandma was a Cherokee princess' bit of famil lore, then I would have been fired up from the get-go. Boring white bread doesn't curl my hair.