I hadn't really too many expectations for Christmas Day, but did want the meal I'd prepared to be edible, at the very least. The fact that it was served hot and there were some appreciative remarks uttered during dinner made me feel good. I cook, but not typically for a table full of people and really nearly never on Christmas. This past Christmas was also notable in that I had my siblings and my mom over. We have not spent an Xmas all together since before my parents divorced in the late 1970s. Now that Mom is widowed what used to be a holiday spent with her husband's family is sort of, up for grabs, if you will. I thought it might be nice to get the band back together (har-har). While it wasn't a shit show, pardon my French, there were a few eyebrow-raising moments.
My sister, I'm fairly sure, showed up drunk. She's devolved into a pretty serious nightly drinker over the past few years, so while I expected her to drink at mine (she abstained), I did not expect her to have 'pre-gamed'. There was a point during the afternoon when she attempted to sit on great-grandma Bea's tile top table. She caught herself, fortunately, before any damage to herself or the table happened. This is a table we grew up with, so her having said, 'I thought it was a chair' felt off. I mean, maybe she did? There was a smattering of cutting comments throughout the day from sis as well, but as that's her M.O., I didn't really ruminate on them...for once.
Mom arrived a few hours early, so we spent some time in the front room chatting and nibbling on snacks. At one point, I had asked mom if she'd heard from her husband's children for Christmas. She seemed taken aback at having been asked. Of course! We are very close! I hadn't meant to imply anything by what I thought was a fairly innocuous question. This is mom's second Christmas sans husband; I imagine it's still very difficult for her adjusting to her 'new normal'.
As it turned out, mom actually hadn't heard from one of the sons and was worried something might be amiss. He replied to her just after the new year. She read me the response over the phone while I was on break at work. All I remember from his text reply was this humdinger of a phrase: scraping the stench of a loveless marriage off my soul BIG YIKES.
If he ever quits his day job, he may want to consider creative writing as a field.
Christmas can be a fraught time for families. It sounds as if you got through it pretty well. You are right about that phrase though. Bitterness and ugliness rolled into a very few words.
ReplyDeleteA-yup!
DeleteI once had to cook Christmas dinner at a huge country house for the aristocratic mother of my girlfriend. One of the guests was a visiting American woman who muscled-in and took over. It was roast goose. She ruined it and our hostess told her so. She had a complete freak-out and ran from the room in tears. That was one she would remember forever.
ReplyDeleteBrutal. She is still smarting over that experience, for sure.
DeleteCould have been worse! So, as you said, "merry-ish."
ReplyDeleteYes!
DeleteGood job you have a sense of humour.
ReplyDeleteI try, Tasker. I really try.
DeleteAnd hopefully your "step-brother's" soul has return to normal, whatever that is.
ReplyDeleteThere was talk of lawyers...it may take a while!
DeleteI bet it was nice to see the whole family, at least in theory. You can't help some people, but you can still love them even with all their issues.
ReplyDeleteGiven that my mom and sibs have been estranged from one another for eons, I had hoped that they would enjoy spending time together. I think the goal was achieved. :)
Deletewow sounds like you had anything but a boring day, gosh. Isn't it funny not ha ha how many family dynamics exist outside of the original family.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't boring, that's for sure. A bit fatiguing, but that seems to be the norm for many of us who spend time with family during the holidays.
DeleteGlad you survived Christmas and your meal was appreciated. And Happy New Year, Bea!!
ReplyDeleteWe did, thanks!
DeleteGlad you got the band back together. Life is too short not to connect with family and or friends. Perhaps a new tradition has begun, hope so. All family gatherings have a few ...hum wonder why they did or said this or that, or why did they dress like that etc; but family is family. When we gathered for Thanksgiving there were 26 of us.......argh, too many. Christmas was more manageable with 16, but still that's a lot of people, so there's always going to be something that seems off. Good luck to you all.
ReplyDeleteSandy's Space
Wow! Both holidays were full of your friends and family! I think that that might be an overwhelming prospect for me. Our party of five was just enough. :)
DeleteFamily get togethers can be weird, huh. I'm glad you took it in stride and sounds like your meal turned out well!
ReplyDeleteYes and yes. :)
DeleteNothing new, so waving hi as I make my blog rounds, hope all is well with you. Hope you've recovered from the holiday jazz.
ReplyDeleteSandy's Space